ANTS TO THE RESCUE: NJOGA'S PRAYERS!

(i fished this story from my archives when i wrote "the weekly lightning" way back in high school. enjoy!)

The moment I saw her I knew I was in trouble. Madam Wamukota was back from her annual maternity leave! She was our no nonsense Chemistry teacher.

“I want to see my assignment!” she announced sweeping her blood-shot eyes across the stuffy form 2W. truth be told I had not touched my Chemistry note-book (or engaged in any chemical issue for that matter!) ever since Madam Wamukota got pregnant!

Our desks flew open and the whole class started hunting for Chemistry notebooks, half of which were non-existent! Madam Wamukota, sensing potential punishes, fished out a meter rule from behind the blue door.

“Leo mutaaimba kikwenyu! (today you shall sing in your mother-tongues!)” she threatened, advancing towards Njoga’s desk. Njoga was our good Christian Union chairman. Though ordained and spirit filled, the good Njoga, like 75% of the class, had not seen any Chemistry text since the evil Wamukota started expecting!

“go to the corner you lazy bones!” Madam Wamukota escorted our small CU chairman with a kick. Next was Ambani. The boy was trying to get clever with the Chemistry teacher. He was busy scribbling the assignment with a very uncooperative red pen! Madam Wamukota electrocuted his chubby cheeks with a slap I have never witnessed since 1993! With a heavier kick, he was sent to the corner.

The drill went on for another 20 minutes, after which a whole bunch of whimpering form twos stood there preparing for the worst. I cursed the day I passed my KCPE!

“So you thought I had gone forever?” she was panting like the bulls from Ikolomani! “I am going to whip your lazy behinds you wont be able to sit down for weeks!” with that she left, headed for the all too famous Kumusambale tree, known for producing unbreakable whips!

Njoga broke into prayers, cal;ling for the holy spirit to come down and save us from the arms of the evil one Wamukota! And prayers did work!

As madam was fighting with a stubborn Kumusambale branch, she disturbed an ants nest! She suddenly broke into a break-dancing fit, stripped naked and sped away never to be seen again!

We made a point to join the Christian Union that very weekend.