I SEE CRAZY ALL OVER MOI UNIVERSITY!

Its getting crazy in Moi University main campus! Power hungry sons and daughters of some hardworking Kenyans (who are breaking sweat to keep their DNA carriers in school) are on our faces from every corner of the university. Since last Friday I am getting more hugs from strange ladies who didn't care I existed a few months ago... I am not complaining though, I am enjoying the long hand shakes and the even longer hugs!
Aspirants are throwing the "I-know-you-personally" smile all over the place while uncomfortably adjusting the noose around their necks that they call ties... the lady-politicians are freezing just to shine! thighs are being exposed to the biting cold, mosquitoes and the lusty eyes of we the campus men! God help they don't die of malaria or pneumonia before the election date. Tribal meetings are being held in the school of arts under the dark. A friend of mine who had political interests sometime back was told, and I quote: "Entertainment docket tumepea waMeru". What on earth! I got Meru friends who are not aware of this privilege that was apparently handed to them by their leaders!
Random meetings are being held outside the student center... usually it is one atticulate guy in an oversized suit and armed with some out of this world vocabulary, sorrounded by the smiling faces of keen listeners who keep nodding wisely once in a while.
Such conversations are bound to happen:
"Who are you voting for chair?"
"Nalyanya.."
"That guy is not serious! vote for Makanaki, he has promised me alcohol next Friday!"
Oh the booze!!! at what point in these campaigns is the booze coming out? Cheap alcohol diluted with pineapple juice in a bucket will be making rounds at the corridors of Hostel H soon! I know a guy who cannot wait ;)
Door-to-door campaigns. This is basically a group of comrades coming to interrupt a moment between you and your girlfriend. Everybody knows this shit does not work! You knock on my girlfriends door, I say 'come in'. Obviously you don't hear it over the sound of the boiling rice so you knock again and my girlfriend answers. You come in and start dictating to me who I should vote for and my girlfriend and I put on fake smiles while secretly peeling off your skin in our heads. You leave a flier with the untrustworthy picture of your preferred candidate on it, which goes to the trash can right away. I close the door behind you going: "What a moron! NKT! Now... where were we?" :)
Hooligans armed with vuvuzelas... well I won't go into that because I am one of them! Anyway after elections guess what is staring at your face? GREEDY LEADERS AND END OF SEM EXAMS... life sucks!

"SHE IS MY EX" the stand up comedy

It is a little bit ego-centric to do a review of your own comedy show... but who cares!
When I put up posters to advertise my first stand up comedy special "SHE IS MY EX" there was a special group of human beings I was not expecting to see on the audience, my ex-girlfriends. So you can imagine the tension in my bladder when three of them showed up in solidarity and with impunity, planting themselves at the back of the hall! For a whole hour I debated whether to do away with some bits of the script which talked about them or to go ahead as rehearsed.... I reached a decision when the opening comedian Chief Munene, rocked the audience; I decided not to mince my words.
From the ex who forced me to pay for her shit (She went to a public toilet and I paid!) straight to the one with a bukusu, I did my routine and luckily, the laughed!
It was not all about heartbreaks and embarrassing ex girlfriends though.. this script had political hints and some deep stuff.  But as usual, the funny takes precedence.
"She is my EX" is the first one man show I have done in Moi university and I am currently working on the next one "THE PEOPLE FROM MY VILLAGE" which covers everything from sports, culture, politics, relationships and tribalism. Therefore if you want to be part of the PROF CHOCHI CREW, leave me an e-mail at nalyanyaken@gmail.com... I will appreciate your support fans!!