A good friend of mine from the village (now a town girl who has finally lost the accent and the ways of my people from the village) once narrated to me an ordeal she encountered when the door of a matatu they were traveling in got stuck. This is not an uncommon scenario in our beloved country! As long as a machine has a yellow band and can move, it is qualified as a public service vehicle.
The long journey started when Melissa's alarm clock decided not to wake her up after she had kicked it to the floor the previous morning. Downing a huge cup of hot tea down her throat, for she had not completely forgotten the ways of her people, Melissa took off the house and in no time was at the stage. She was terribly late for work.
No sooner had her sharp pointed high heels stepped on the stage than a rattling assembly of rusting metals with a yellow band parked next to her. The matatu was as full as a sack of potatoes with all kinds of body parts sticking out of the window! The tout, a loud mouthed class five dropout with an otherwise outstanding skill in addition and substraction was hanging by his finger nails at the door. This guy could spot a traveller from a mile away. It is no big news then when she swept our ever elegant Melissa into this potential accident.
The innards of the machine were worse than the out. there was no space to even wiggle! There seemed to be some heat generating device from behind the driver's seat and someones shoe was melting due to that heat. A deadly stench of onions fed the nostrils of half of the travelers who were not lucky enough to have blocked an running noses! The owner of the onions did not smell any better. She was a generously sized mama mboga with no concept of hygiene. The irony was that she was loudly complaining of the bad smell in the nissan.
"Kuna mtu hajaoga hapa! Tutamuosha vile tuliosha Kamau wa butchery! (There is someone who hasn't taken a shower! We shall wash him just like we did to Kamau the butcher!)" said the big woman suspiciously looking at the tout. No one commented. Everyone was looking ahead as if in deep meditation. The mama mboga went on to narrate in gory detail how Kamau the butcher was picked out as an anti-shower thanks to her super natural sense of smell. It was in a matatu just like this one where our stinking stench picking madam had apparently raised the alarm and Kamau consequently arrested and thoroughly cleaned at the heart of the capital city! All this while the onion smelling Mama mboga was narrating this graphic story, she was animating it with all sorts of non-verbal cues occasionally sticking a thumb into poor Melissa's nose! The tout, sensing the pending danger of being picked out as an anti-shower gave the big woman a tongue lashing; threatening to kick her out of the vehicle. She defiantly changed the subject and started complaining about the government. a topic which everyone contributed.
A space finally opened up next to mama mboga. It was much better than sticking out ones behind outside the vehicle while it cruised at a blood-chilling 90kph! The space was a piece of wood cleverly placed in between two seats to serve the illegal extra person. Mama Mboga, sensing how unpopular she had become, she decided to boost her fan base. She gladly offered Melissa her seat saying that beautiful ladies who worked in offices should not sit on 'sambazas' (the wooden chairs!)
She then offered the seat to Melissa. As she sat on the sambaza, the piece of wood pinched Melissa! The Mama Mboga did not seem to move any time soon!
Tragedy was when the door stuck and the big woman had to go out through the window and over Melissa! Talk of deals too good!
The long journey started when Melissa's alarm clock decided not to wake her up after she had kicked it to the floor the previous morning. Downing a huge cup of hot tea down her throat, for she had not completely forgotten the ways of her people, Melissa took off the house and in no time was at the stage. She was terribly late for work.
No sooner had her sharp pointed high heels stepped on the stage than a rattling assembly of rusting metals with a yellow band parked next to her. The matatu was as full as a sack of potatoes with all kinds of body parts sticking out of the window! The tout, a loud mouthed class five dropout with an otherwise outstanding skill in addition and substraction was hanging by his finger nails at the door. This guy could spot a traveller from a mile away. It is no big news then when she swept our ever elegant Melissa into this potential accident.
The innards of the machine were worse than the out. there was no space to even wiggle! There seemed to be some heat generating device from behind the driver's seat and someones shoe was melting due to that heat. A deadly stench of onions fed the nostrils of half of the travelers who were not lucky enough to have blocked an running noses! The owner of the onions did not smell any better. She was a generously sized mama mboga with no concept of hygiene. The irony was that she was loudly complaining of the bad smell in the nissan.
"Kuna mtu hajaoga hapa! Tutamuosha vile tuliosha Kamau wa butchery! (There is someone who hasn't taken a shower! We shall wash him just like we did to Kamau the butcher!)" said the big woman suspiciously looking at the tout. No one commented. Everyone was looking ahead as if in deep meditation. The mama mboga went on to narrate in gory detail how Kamau the butcher was picked out as an anti-shower thanks to her super natural sense of smell. It was in a matatu just like this one where our stinking stench picking madam had apparently raised the alarm and Kamau consequently arrested and thoroughly cleaned at the heart of the capital city! All this while the onion smelling Mama mboga was narrating this graphic story, she was animating it with all sorts of non-verbal cues occasionally sticking a thumb into poor Melissa's nose! The tout, sensing the pending danger of being picked out as an anti-shower gave the big woman a tongue lashing; threatening to kick her out of the vehicle. She defiantly changed the subject and started complaining about the government. a topic which everyone contributed.
A space finally opened up next to mama mboga. It was much better than sticking out ones behind outside the vehicle while it cruised at a blood-chilling 90kph! The space was a piece of wood cleverly placed in between two seats to serve the illegal extra person. Mama Mboga, sensing how unpopular she had become, she decided to boost her fan base. She gladly offered Melissa her seat saying that beautiful ladies who worked in offices should not sit on 'sambazas' (the wooden chairs!)
She then offered the seat to Melissa. As she sat on the sambaza, the piece of wood pinched Melissa! The Mama Mboga did not seem to move any time soon!
Tragedy was when the door stuck and the big woman had to go out through the window and over Melissa! Talk of deals too good!
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